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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24917707">Ineffable</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenTea4062/pseuds/GreenTea4062'>GreenTea4062</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Future Memories</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 04:41:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>9,494</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24917707</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/GreenTea4062/pseuds/GreenTea4062</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Trainee Eren Yeager wakes up with memories sent from the future. With this, what will change?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Annie Leonhart &amp; Eren Yeager, Bertolt Hoover &amp; Ymir, Jean Kirstein &amp; Eren Yeager, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss &amp; Eren Yeager, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss &amp; Ymir, Krista Lenz | Historia Reiss/Eren Yeager, Mikasa Ackerman &amp; Armin Arlert &amp; Eren Yeager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>112</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Paradox</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Eren, Eren!"</p>
<p>"Huh, wha...?"</p>
<p>"Stop screaming! You're going to wake everyone!"</p>
<p>Eren took in the person hovering above him with barely opened eyes.</p>
<p>"What...? Is that you, Armin?"</p>
<p>"Yeah, it's me. What, Eren? Wait, you..." Armin blinked. "You're crying."</p>
<p>Eren's hand shot up to check. Feeling the wetness of his cheek, he withdrew his hand and opted to stare at his tear-stained hand.</p>
<p>"Were you having a nightmare?"</p>
<p>"Armin, I..." Eren rubbed his forehead. "I don't know."</p>
<p>"It seems to be a nightmare to me. You've woken me with your screaming. Luckily, everyone else didn't wake, though."</p>
<p>Ere stared down, his eyes unseeing. "Just now, I saw a really long dream. No, it can't be a dream. It felt too real. I..."</p>
<p>"Eren?"</p>
<p>"Who am I?" Eren shivered.</p>
<p>"Eren," Armin said, worry showing in his visage. "You said 'who am I' just now."</p>
<p>Eren slowly straightened, his green eyes meeting Armin's blue.</p>
<p>"What do you mean by that?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Name</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It was just another day ― or so she thought.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was just another day, she had thought so when she woke up.</p>
<p>She was just absently going through her usual routine for the day. Waking up earlier than every girl in the barracks, brushing her teeth, washing her face, changing to her uniform, plastering a small smile when she left the barracks, greeting the trainees ― that were early risers ― she passed by with a 'good morning', checking with her hand if she still had a polite smile on her face just before she reached the dining hall ― the usual, really.</p>
<p>Until the famously nicknamed 'Suicidal Bastard' called her by her <em>true name</em>, she truly had thought it was going to be just another day.</p>
<p>But, no. This particular day wouldn't just be 'another day' for her. From this day onward, her life wouldn't be the same ― not anymore.</p>
<p>It was thanks to someone's tactless act. That someone changed her whole world by carelessly, and surely thoughtlessly, shouting ―</p>
<p>"Historia!"</p>
<p>Her eyes automatically widened.</p>
<p>"... eh?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Dilemma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Why did he know that?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>She had stopped taking another step forward. Somehow, she could feel her heart stop for a moment ― it was like her whole world stopped.</p>
<p>Someone just shouted her <em>true name</em>. It was only natural that her eyes went looking for the source of that voice.</p>
<p>And then her eyes met his.</p>
<p>There he was, the one who just shouted that name. It was... it was ―</p>
<p>
  <em>Who?</em>
</p>
<p>She blinked. Who was he?</p>
<p>Her mind came up empty. At a time like this, unfortunately. Her brain wasn't on her side, apparently.</p>
<p>So she stood there, dumbly, not knowing how to react.</p>
<p>Admittedly, she was not a morning person, but it was a routine for her to wake up early. Even so, she knew that sometimes, she would still feel sluggish after forcing herself to wake up but sleepiness would be beaten out after exercising.</p>
<p>Maybe if she could spend her energy towards other things, this wouldn't be happening to her. It was unfortunate that her brain was too concerned to mantain this smile, this posture, this character of hers to recall the name of that boy.</p>
<p>Basically, yes, she was too concerned with herself.</p>
<p>But it had been more than a year. She <em>had</em> to know even if there was more than three hundred trainees in her year alone. She <em>had</em> to know the name of that boy.</p>
<p>She was Krista Lenz, a girl that was kind, considerate, and always looked out for others; so of course Krista should know someone like that boy who would randomly shout things. Something told her that he was well-known around here, she <em>should</em> know him.</p>
<p>She went to put the boy under her scrutiny.</p>
<p>His hair was short and the color was dark ― maybe a dark brown but looked almost black under the room's lighting. She could tell his eyes were green, even if the light in the dining room was not much. When she spotted the girl beside him, it finally clicked.</p>
<p><em>Eren, </em>her brain finally provided, generously reminding her of that boy's name after noticing Mikasa who was sitting beside the boy.</p>
<p>Eren was famous with his passionate speech about fighting the titans. Also, he was quite popular among the girls not for the reason that he was a bit good looking, but because he had that <em>look</em> in his eyes ― some would say he was too intense. He was nicknamed 'Suicidal Bastard' after all.</p>
<p>When the girls asked Mikasa, the one who seemed close to him, about who Eren was to her, Mikasa had said 'family'. One of the girls also asked about the sissy-looking blond one that almost always hanging out with Eren. Armin was his name, she recalled.</p>
<p>The three of them, Eren, Mikasa, and Armin were the refugees from Shiganshina District.</p>
<p>Swallowing, she questioned herself. Eren was supposedly someone not even from Wall Rose nor Wall Sina. Why and how did he know 'Historia'?</p>
<p>Then she realized. Eren Yeager just called her by her true name, in front of a lot of trainees. It was in the dining hall and it was Eren Yeager.</p>
<p>No one would ignore this.</p>
<p>The shock of being called by that name again had made her freeze that she didn't think about that first. Naturally, because of her circumstances, she didn't want to show a reaction to that name. She knew that if her identity was revealed, she would be killed.</p>
<p>Her train of thoughts screeched to a halt.</p>
<p>Looking back at it, she didn't mind it much. Being killed that is. It was just that this was too abrupt and out of nowhere that she was being taken aback.</p>
<p>A voice in the back of her had said she wanted to die but with dignity. She wanted to be thought of as a good girl that heroically saved others in need, and with that, she would be remembered, not forgotten, not dying pointlessly like her mother, no ―</p>
<p>Stop, stop, <em>stop! </em>This wasn't the place to think about <em>those</em> things!</p>
<p>She cleared her mind. From the time being, she needed to appear 'confused', not sweating and showing recognition of that name. She had not to overthink this.</p>
<p>For a brief moment, Eren broke eye contact with her, but only to meet her eyes again ― only this time, he was glaring like he was furious or... if she was correct, sending some kind of a message through his eyes.</p>
<p>It didn't take long for her to answer. She nodded to him ― agreeing to what, she didn't have a clue. When he left his table and passed her by, she followed ― of course after showing some hesitation.</p>
<p>Right now, she was Krista.</p>
<p><em>Ac</em><em>t nice to everyone like Krista and I'll be someone that everybody remembers</em>, Krista Lenz, the name that <em>they </em>gave to her so she could live, the character that she had to play, whispered inside her mind like always.</p>
<p><em>No! P</em><em>lease s</em><em>top this charade! Don't obey them! </em>but almost at the same time, Historia was heard quietly protesting from the back of her mind.</p>
<p>Ignoring the whispers in her head, she focused her gaze on Eren's back.</p>
<p>As she was leaving the hall with Eren, she passingly thought that it was fortunate that there weren't that many people now in the dining hall. Even if words about this spread, it would be just rumors.</p>
<p>Who knows, maybe she could do something about this. Maybe she would get another day to live.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Advance</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>If the world ends now, she wouldn't mind it one bit.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Eren, you said 'who am I' just now. What do you mean by that?"</p>
<p>"... huh?"</p>
<p>"Eh?" Armin sent him a dubious look.</p>
<p>They stared at each other before Eren broke eye contact.</p>
<p>Eren slowly closed his eyes in an attempt to gather his wits together. "I... did I really say that?" He was silent for a second before he uttered, "I don't know, Armin. It's like I saw a really long dream, so..." he trailed off, as his mind was screaming that it wasn't really a dream.</p>
<p>Just before he woke up, he was relieving what-appeared-to-be his father's memories. He assumed so based on what he had remembered from his dream. 'Who am I' might be because he was <em>Grisha Yeager </em>in the dream.</p>
<p>But it wasn't a dream. What he saw and what he felt in the dream were so realistic to the point Eren questioned who he really was when he woke up. Normally, a dream wouldn't be that terrifyingly real.</p>
<p>Armin peered on at Eren's shadowed face. "Huh, 'it's like I saw a really long dream'. I think you've said that before."</p>
<p>Eyes still wet because they still producing tears, Eren further dropped his gaze and turned to recall.</p>
<p>Yes, he had said the exact same line to both Armin and Mikasa ― for more than once, apparently. He didn't know how to describe it, but now it was different, after all, he could remember the dream he had. It was like some kind of blockage was lifted off of his mind.</p>
<p>"Did I wake anyone else?" Eren asked with no real reason other than just for the heck of it.</p>
<p>Armin tilted his head, he was sure that he had informed Eren of that, but Eren seemed too occupied with himself to check on it himself, so Armin let his eyes to wander, inspecting the room.</p>
<p>"It's quiet here, right? So, no, it's just me. Haha, they're probably dead tired because of the training we've had yesterday."</p>
<p>Eren's lips twisted downward. Armin didn't possess much endurance, so he knew how exhausted Armin would be after endurance training. He couldn't help but feel a little bit of guilt for waking Armin up.</p>
<p>"That's good, I guess. What time is it?"</p>
<p>Again, Eren didn't bother to check about it himself. Armin wondered; was it too much to just glance over to the clock on the wall?</p>
<p>"It's about ten to four now," Armin said, while eyeing the nearest clock.</p>
<p>Eren breathed in deeply before propping himself up to stand.</p>
<p>"Eh? You're not going back to sleep?"</p>
<p>"I can't sleep anymore. Might as well start the day early."</p>
<p>Armin contemplated a little before he moved to get out of his bed as well.</p>
<p>"Oi, Armin. It's still too early. Go back to sleep."</p>
<p>Armin sent him a smile. "It's okay, I'm not sleepy anymore."</p>
<p>It was a little white lie, he figured it out almost instantly. Somehow, the gesture was reassuring that Eren felt his lips involuntarily tugging up a little.</p>
<p>"Hmm. Alright then."</p>
<p>And so they proceeded to start the day.</p>
<hr/>
<p>It was when he was in the communal bathroom that Eren could safely think about the dream.</p>
<p>Looking at his reflection while reflecting on what it was that he saw.</p>
<p>What exactly was it? Somehow, he was convinced that it wasn't a dream ― that all of it was his father's memories. It didn't make sense to be convinced that it wasn't just a mere dream for the reason just because 'something told him so'. It wasn't compelling at all.</p>
<p>But the dream, the memories, seemed to be a string of events that could be his father's life before he ― before Grisha Yeager, his father, came to live inside the Walls and married his mother. If these memories were real, then Armin's book was right. The world outside the Walls was really ―</p>
<p>
  <em>"Remember this well, Grisha. To kindle the power of the titan residing inside, all you have to do is this."</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The man slashed his hand with a dagger, drawing blood. A second later, a flash of lightning came thundering down from the sky, and then...</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>... a titan emerged from nothingness.</em>
</p>
<p>Eren glared at his reflection.</p>
<p>That's when the dream, memories, ended. It gave him a glimpse of the sea, but in return, he had to witness the cruelty the Eldians were subjected to.</p>
<p>Eren stopped.</p>
<p>What was that? Eldian?</p>
<p>He shook his head. He didn't know what 'Eldian' is. He just... knew.</p>
<p>Yet another unexplained thing about him.</p>
<p>Rinsing his face, Eren kept his thoughts to focus on one topic.</p>
<p>It was as if he saw life through his father's eyes. It's like he was reliving it like he was Grisha Yeager, and that the emotions he felt when he saw the memory wasn't his own, but his father's.</p>
<p>Eren continued to remind himself to steadily <em>breathe in, breathe out</em>. He wasn't going to start panicking right then and there, he just couldn't afford to do so when he was living with hundreds of people in this place.</p>
<p>He knew it was understandable if he went ballistic right now, after all, he had been deluged with memories that weren't his to begin with ― but he didn't want to. Eren Yeager had to appear strong, even if he weren't that strong inside.</p>
<p>Eren wondered why he didn't tell the dream right away to Armin.</p>
<p>Right. Because it felt personal. After all, he didn't witness those memories, he felt everything what his father felt ― down to the despair of being betrayed by the one he had trusted, the pain of his fingers being cut off, the pain of losing a wife. Everything.</p>
<p>All of it, the memories seemed unreal... yet feel real. He didn't know why for sure, but it <em>felt </em>utterly real, so his mind was telling him that it was.</p>
<p>He wasn't that smart to imagining such scenario of humanity living beyond the Walls. Furthermore, the 'dream' was beyond anything anyone inside the Walls could imagine, so it might be an indication that it wasn't something his imagination came up with.</p>
<p>Turning off the faucet, Eren then wiped his face with a towel.</p>
<p>The last time he had an idea of what dream he had was around three years ago, the night after the Colossal Titan and the Armored Titan's appearances. It was the dream of meeting his father ― that was what he assumed that day.</p>
<p>Did... he really meet his father that day? Frustratingly, he couldn't tell. Even now, his father's whereabouts was unknown. If that dream turned out to be real, something must have happened that night.</p>
<p>A growl escaped his lips.</p>
<p>Why now? Why had he suddenly seeing what-could-possibly-be his father's memories? After three years of practically incapable of recalling what he saw in his sleep, why?</p>
<p>Eren put his hands around the washbasin.</p>
<p>He desperately wished for these sequence of events that had just played inside his head to be just a mere dream. Was it so wrong to hope for such a thing?</p>
<p>Closing his eyes as he thought about it, Eren arrived to an answer to that himself.</p>
<p>Yes, it would be wrong ― because if it were all real, it would be the same as just dismissing what his father had gone through. His father's struggles and pain.</p>
<p>It wasn't... right.</p>
<p>Eren faced the ceilings.</p>
<p>What was important was that he didn't know what was causing him to have these memories.</p>
<p>That's right. Why? He didn't have a single clue.</p>
<p>Eren grinded his teeth together. He didn't even know what had happened nor the whereabouts of his father anyway. Now that the 'dream' made him to suspect that his father had come from a place outside the Walls...</p>
<p>
  <em>"Grisha, no matter what form I may take, I will find you..."</em>
</p>
<p>"Dina," Eren muttered the name of the person he would never know personally.</p>
<p>That reminded him. In the dream, humans could turn into titans.</p>
<p>Mindless titans. The titans that had invaded his home.</p>
<p>Eren stopped, his sight became blurry, his breathing ragged, his hands felt cold.</p>
<p>That fact was too terrifying and too heavy for him. Because if it was true, then ―</p>
<p>Feeling his stomach drop, Eren lurched forward, emptying his stomach.</p>
<p>If the dream wasn't really a dream, then the titan that ate his mother was...</p>
<p>... his father's first wife<em>.</em></p>
<p>Eren muffled a frustrated, confused scream with his hand at that very notion.</p>
<p>Absolutely crazy. It was absurd. It was cruel.</p>
<p>No. He didn't want to believe it.</p>
<p>He'd rather be labelled crazy rather than having the world he was born in be that tragically merciless.</p>
<hr/>
<p>"Are you sure you're fine?"</p>
<p>"Mhmm."</p>
<p>Armin was silent for a moment before he noted, "Um, Eren. You have to look at your own face. You're pale and you're sweating a lot; you don't look fine at all."</p>
<p>Eren's half-lidded eyes went to look directly at Armin. "I feel fine."</p>
<p>"But you don't look fine."</p>
<p>"Armin..."</p>
<p>"I can report to the the Instructor if you're sick, you know?"</p>
<p>"Armin. Enough already."</p>
<p>"But..."</p>
<p>"Just." Eren exhaled out. "Leave it."</p>
<p>Armin held his breath. Eren looked too pale and weary to be considered 'fine'. Nonetheless, Armin let it go.</p>
<p>"Well, if you say so. Just so you know, you can tell me if you don't feel well, alright?"</p>
<p>Eren acknowledged his friend's meaningless fretting with a weak grunt. In truth, he wasn't feeling fine at all. As such, grunting was the best he thing he could do as he didn't have the strength to explain why he wasn't fine in his current mental state.</p>
<p>It was when they were about to exit the barracks that they bumped into someone.</p>
<p>"Eren. Armin."</p>
<p>"Mikasa? Eh?" With a blink, Armin took in her sudden appearance. "What are you ―"</p>
<p>"Good morning." Mikasa turned to face Eren who immediately avoided looking at her direction. "Eren. Your eyes are red and you're too pale." Closing in on him, she placed her hand on his forehead. "You don't have a fever. Have you been crying in your sleep again?"</p>
<p>"I wasn't crying," Eren denied reflexively, swatting her hand off of him. When it came to Mikasa, he couldn't just grunt and be done with it.</p>
<p>"Mikasa, you see, it's just, uh, I think Eren's scrubbed too hard when he was washing his face," Armin said, not wanting Mikasa to unnecessarily worry and Eren to be nagged, but he didn't want to tell her a lie. Eren did scrub his face too hard when they walked to the bathroom.</p>
<p>Mikasa backed away, distancing herself from Eren. "Oh. I see."</p>
<p>"Why are you even here this early?" Eren mustered all his of his mental power into this question. He knew not starting a conversation with Mikasa wasn't going to help anyone.</p>
<p>As the two started to walk, Mikasa took place beside Armin. "I had a feeling. That's why I'm here."</p>
<p>Armin sent her a sideways glance. "A feeling, eh?"</p>
<p>He wasn't that much surprised. Since the day Eren's parents' took care of her, Mikasa was always protective of Eren. It was more so after the Fall of Wall Maria. Armin lightly thought that it was because of that that whenever Eren was in distress, Mikasa almost always managed to sense it.</p>
<p>Eren let out an audible sigh. "Hmph. Yeah, well, let's go get breakfast."</p>
<p>It was when they were about to reach the dining hall that Eren almost doubled over. If he wasn't anticipating it, he would be on the ground now. Massaging his temple, Eren instantly tried to appear normal despite the constant throbbing pain attacking his head.</p>
<p>"Morning, guys," Armin greeted once they were in the hall.</p>
<p>Marco, who was behind the kitchen, smiled. "Morning, you three."</p>
<p>"You guys are freaking early," Connie said. "But not as early as Sasha, though."</p>
<p>Alarmed, the three looked at the direction Connie was pointing. While both Eren and Armin looked speechless, Mikasa only let out an exasperated sigh.</p>
<p>"What?" Eren's eyes widened, his headaches momentarily forgotten. "Sasha?"</p>
<p>"What is Sasha doing here?" Armin sputtered, mouth parted in surprise.</p>
<p>A trainee stared lazily at the two, feeling their reactions were too exaggerated. "Isn't it obvious? She's not on duty, but volunteering herself to help us."</p>
<p>"Volunteering?" Eren blinked, his headache left him for a moment.</p>
<p>Marco scratched his cheek. "Uh-uh. Yeah."</p>
<p>"Sometimes Sasha drops by to help," Connie informed.</p>
<p>"Hahaha. By the looks of it, she's volunteering to finish our food, that is," Armin voiced his thoughts out loud. "Does Instructor Shadis know about this?"</p>
<p>Samuel shook his head. "Are you crazy, Armin? If Instructor Shadis knows, it's not only Sasha, but we're also done for!"</p>
<p>"Hey!" Sasha protested.</p>
<p>Eren blinked as the sight of Sasha eating her breakfast somehow made him feel a little bit relaxed.</p>
<p>It was normal of her, but he'd never thought about it. His schedule for cooking duty had only been for dinner time, never breakfast. And... Sasha and he were grouped together in a team specifically for doing chores; he didn't expect her to be here. Eren didn't know she was that desperate to have more food that she would wake up at four in the morning.</p>
<p>Samuel lightly chuckled. "You know, she's not that bad. See, there's no potatoes this morning so she's hoarding as many bread crumbs as she could."</p>
<p>"Bread crumbs?" Mikasa muttered under her breath, eyes set on Sasha who paid attention to no one.</p>
<p>"Hey, you guys," Connie piped up. "Did you see Bertolt's sleeping position?"</p>
<p>He knew where this was headed, so Eren just shrugged. "No."</p>
<p>"Bertolt's sleeping position...? Oh, I saw it." Armin tried to recall. "One of his legs was in the air and his arms were folded against his chest. Ah, his head was tilted to the right as well, so..."</p>
<p>"He didn't wiggle his toes?" a trainee asked.</p>
<p>Armin shook his head. "No, I don't think so."</p>
<p>Franz stroked his chin. "Ah-ha. That's the classic position for my favorite weather, so I think it's going to rain a little today."</p>
<p>"Nahh, his head is tilted to the right! So today's going to be cloudy, that's for sure!" one of the trainees argued.</p>
<p>Eren couldn't help but sigh at their running joke of guessing the day's weather by basing it on that day Bertolt's unique sleeping position.</p>
<p>While Armin chatted with the kitchen staff and the trainees-in-duty, Eren and Mikasa were taking their portion of breakfast.</p>
<p>Once they were done, Eren followed Mikasa who randomly chose to sit a little away from the kitchen.</p>
<p>It was when Eren was seated that he spaced off.</p>
<p>"Eren." Mikasa waved her hand in front of his face. "Start eating before the food gets cold."</p>
<p>"Right." Eren was about to grab his bread before waves of headache start to attacking him more viciously than before.</p>
<p>Seeing Eren suddenly freezing, Armin, who took the seat across Eren's, asked, "Hmm? Eren, what's wrong?"</p>
<p>Bringing his hand to massage the side of his head again, Eren squinted his eyes as he uttered, "It's just a headache."</p>
<p>"A headache?" Leaning closer, Mikasa took a hold of Eren's head. "Did you hit your head yesterday from training? Here, let me see."</p>
<p>"My head is fine," Eren drawled, his eyes went to watch the entrance in passing, his focus zoomed in on the girl that was entering the hall.</p>
<p>It was as if time slowed down as a memory came into him like a flash of lightning.</p>
<p>
  <em>A blonde girl with a pair of blue eyes came into his view.</em>
</p>
<p><em>"E</em><em>ren</em><em>.</em>"</p>
<p>Eren stopped breathing.</p>
<p>He was wide awake now, why he was seeing this?</p>
<p>Just as he started to grit his teeth in panic, his head throbbed with one sharp wave of pain as another memory flashed inside his mind.</p>
<p>
  <em>A familiar dark haired man surrounded by candle lights was seen sitting on a chair, clutching his head and his face unseen.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>Eren...? I-is that you?"</em>
</p>
<p>Eren's face muscles tensed at that.</p>
<p>
  <em>"What is the meaning of all this? Why are you showing me these...?! Eren! Eren!"</em>
</p>
<p>What in the world was happening with him?</p>
<p>Eren willed himself to stay calm and not jolting up at hearing the level of despair in that voice. It was his father's voice and he was addressing him.</p>
<p>Eren froze and momentarily stopped breathing as the images of a syringe, a short black haired man, and the blonde girl flashing before his eyes.</p>
<p>What was this? What was going on with his head? What did he have to seeing these things?</p>
<p>Why now, of all places?</p>
<p>
  <em>Sounds of chains rattling were heard across the cave as he fought against his bindings with all his might.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>"</em>
  <em>M</em>
  <em>hmmmmm!"</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>The blonde girl sent him a look. </em>
  <em>"What is it, Eren?"</em>
</p>
<p>Eren held his breath as the short man shoved the syringe to the blonde girl's hands. That syringe, the syringe that turned Dina, his father's first wife, into a titan.</p>
<p>The realization made him slam his hands on the dining table as the feelings of what he could only describe as frustration, dread, and anger suddenly surged from within.</p>
<p><em>'</em><em>R</em><em>un... run! He's going to make you into one of <strong>them</strong>! Get away, don't just stand there ―</em>'</p>
<p>"Historia!"</p>
<p>His scream rang across the room, drawing everyone's attention to him. His voice echoed as the room went silent.</p>
<p>"Eren!" Mikasa quickly let go of Eren in surprise. "What's wrong?" she voiced with urgency.</p>
<p>Stunned, Armin gaped at Eren, his spoon in the air as he was startled by the sudden loud sound his friend had emitted.</p>
<p>It was simply out of nowhere for Armin. He was sure that he could have a heart attack if his heart was as weak as his skills in hand-to-hand combat was.</p>
<p>"Eren! What is it?!" Armin urged once he got rid of his shock, but not unlike Mikasa, he didn't get any reaction. "Eren!" he repeated, but Eren was unresponsive.</p>
<p>Whatever was happening with Eren could be serious, as even if Eren were prone of random outbursts, he wouldn't be doing it at four in the morning.</p>
<p>Eren felt like he was surrounded by figurative earth tremors. His eyes bulged wide, glued on her, the blonde girl he knew by the name Krista, not Historia.</p>
<p>Krista. Not Historia.</p>
<p>It was like his world was turned upside down. Because the proof he needed to confirm that he wasn't going crazy was in front of him now.</p>
<p>"Eren!" Mikasa tried tugging Eren down to make him sit down and eat his meal, but that didn't work.</p>
<p>With that, Armin arrived to a conclusion; it must be something <em>extremely</em> serious<em>. </em>After all, he had never seen Eren won against Mikasa's no-doubt-inhuman strength, even though Armin was sure Mikasa didn't use all of her strength to make Eren sit down. But still, it was an incredible feat for Eren to physically resist Mikasa.</p>
<p>The few people in the dining hall focused on Eren, as he had caused quite a ruckus by shouting something and appearing to be glaring at the not-so-secretly-popular-among-the-boys Krista Lenz.</p>
<p>"Hey, what's that?"</p>
<p>"What's going on?"</p>
<p>"Is it a cockroach or something!?" Connie whirled around the kitchen to inspect.</p>
<p>Sasha lightly jab his side with her elbow. "Calm down, Connie. It's just Eren." She gulped down the food in her mouth before continuing, "And, no. No roaches in sight. In fact, I've made sure of that before I came here."</p>
<p>"What?" Connie gave her a look of both apprehension and bafflement.</p>
<p>A trainee with sleepy eyes twisted his face into a scowl. "Huh, it seems Eren's yelled about something."</p>
<p>"Well, Eren hasn't done that in a while," Franz commented.</p>
<p>"Phew. He's scared me a little." Marco rubbed his nose in an attempt to slow his rapid heartbeat down.</p>
<p>"He's sure got lots of energy. Even when we train, he's always the one who gets all pumped up," Connie muttered, yawning as he went back to filling up food trays, not seeing the need to put his attention on Eren as he just wanted to be done with his chore.</p>
<p>"Why is he staring at Krista?" Samuel wondered, noticing at where Eren was staring at.</p>
<p>"Who knows..." Marco frowned. He was the leader of the group in charge for cooking today's breakfast, so he couldn't leave the kitchen that easily. So he hurried on, wanting to check on Eren as soon as he could.</p>
<p>A trainee scowled. "Is he trying to get Krista's attention?"</p>
<p>Another one soon followed, "He'd better not."</p>
<p>"Guys, Eren wouldn't do that," Franz defended.</p>
<p>"Well, if he were; I think screaming isn't the right way to get Krista's <em>attention</em>, you know," Sasha quipped.</p>
<p>Mikasa sent Armin a concerned look as Eren continued to ignore them. To her, it was unusual for Eren to shout things like that and ignoring them without a cause.</p>
<p>Armin shook his head at Mikasa's silent question. He himself wasn't sure what was causing Eren to shout. Eren might have seemed odd ever since he woke up from his nightmare, but it was a frequent thing for Eren to have nightmares.</p>
<p>But usually, Eren didn't start acting odd right after. Acting odd, as in; who would ask themselves 'who am I' the first thing in the morning? He personally didn't know anyone who would.</p>
<p>So, why now? Why did Eren now start acting like this?</p>
<p>"Hey, Eren," Armin started, after regaining some of his composure. "Tell us. What's going on with you?" he momentarily paused before continuing, "Why are you looking at Krista like that, Eren?"</p>
<p>"Eren, say something. Please," said Mikasa, eyes examining every little detail of him, in case he was in pain or something.</p>
<p>No response. Eren didn't even look at either his or Mikasa's way.</p>
<p>Armin somewhat felt left out, but he didn't know why.</p>
<p>Mikasa was about to voice her concern once again before Armin interrupted her.</p>
<p>"Historia," he mumbled lowly, eyes thoughtful. "Eren, what is 'Historia'?"</p>
<p>Armin kept alternating his gaze between Eren and Krista. He didn't know why Eren looked at Krista like that, as Eren had never shown that much interest in Krista Lenz before.</p>
<p>"Um, Eren? Eren, are you there? Can you hear us?" Armin called again, seeing as he, once again, had received no response from Eren.</p>
<p>Eren couldn't find it in himself to stop staring at her, because to him, she was something of a confirmation to him that he wasn't imagining the dream.</p>
<p>The dream. The memories. If it were all true, he could no longer cast aside the cruel, harsh truth of what titans could be to the very back of his mind.</p>
<p>He stared down for a moment before locking eyes with her again. She stood there, still as the earth, seemingly letting Eren capture her with his gaze.</p>
<p>Bewildered but didn't know what to do, Armin only furrowed his brows further.</p>
<p>Krista looked so lost like Eren was this morning and Eren was staring at her with so much focus that Armin was left wondering just what was going on with Eren.</p>
<p>Well, the staring was both odd and rude. Did Eren become crazy because of the nightmare or something?</p>
<p>And then he caught Eren falter and looking downwards for a moment before switching back to glaring at Krista. After that display, Armin saw that it's no use to bother and opted to go back to his meal.</p>
<p>Bringing his spoon full of soup to his lips, Armin continued on to observe quietly.</p>
<p>It looked as if Eren didn't know it himself why he acted like he did judging by the way he seemed to falter for a moment, but continued on anyway because he could. But then Krista, still locking eyes with Eren, nodded, like she was agreeing to something.</p>
<p>Pausing from taking another bite of bread, Armin scrunched his lips down, his eyes still on Eren, carefully watching him. It was just in his own nature to be curious. And this was Eren, his first friend ― his best friend. He just couldn't let go of his curiosity.</p>
<p>Armin turned to recall his day so far.</p>
<p>This morning, he was rudely awaken because Eren was mumbling and crying in his sleep. As Armin was about to go back to sleep, Eren screamed, effectively making Armin react by trying to smother Eren's scream down. It was just so happen that his bed was beside Eren's. Thankfully, Armin managed to wake Eren up before waking up every person in the vicinity. After that, they talked, Eren seemed off, and then...</p>
<p>His reminiscing was put on hold when Eren moved to walk away from the dining table.</p>
<p>"Wait, where are you going?" Armin fought the desire to ask more than that. He got the memo he wouldn't get a response from Eren if he did anyway.</p>
<p>Mikasa grasped the hem of Eren's shirt. "Eren."</p>
<p>Eren didn't bother to look back. "I've got to go," he spoke up.</p>
<p>"Where?" Mikasa inquired, not letting go despite Eren's persistence.</p>
<p>"The bathroom," Eren pronounced, his tone of voice flat. "Let me go, Mikasa."</p>
<p>Armin blinked twice before he said, "But you just went, like, around twenty minutes ago..."</p>
<p>At that, Mikasa's eyebrows lifted a little. Impassively, she uttered, "Stay. You haven't finished your meal."</p>
<p>Eren looked over his shoulder, his eyes glinting and mouth set into a frown. "Mikasa. Let go of my shirt."</p>
<p>"Are you feeling unwell? Do you want me to take you to the infirmary?"</p>
<p>"No."</p>
<p>"Then, finish your meal first before you go," Mikasa ordered, her voice firm.</p>
<p>"I'll come back to finish it," Eren said, this time with a tone of voice that held no much vigor, like there was some invisible weight on his back.</p>
<p>Mikasa didn't budge as she stared intently at him.</p>
<p>Eren narrowed his eyes, finally having enough. "You know what, I've gotta go and that's that."</p>
<p>Mirroring him, Mikasa also narrowed her eyes. She held on to him for the sole reason that she wanted him to explain why he was dismissing them, both her and Armin, as it wasn't exactly normal for him to.</p>
<p>She was about to open her mouth to argue but Eren grabbed a hold of her wrist and wrenched it off, effectively forcing her to let go of his shirt.</p>
<p>"I'll be right back." And with that, Eren walked off, away from them as if nothing happened.</p>
<p>"Eren...?" He was using all his strength to force her to let go. Left confused, Mikasa sat there, her hand still hanging in the air.</p>
<p>Armin's lips parted, horrified. He couldn't believe Eren did this just to go to the bathroom (?)... but wait, he actually could.</p>
<p>Eren wasn't one to hesitate to call someone a trash when he thought they deserve it, after all. It was just that ever since that day when Eren threw Jean to the ground, somehow, Eren wasn't as thoughtlessly picking fights and passionate about his opinion as he was before.</p>
<p>He thought Eren had figured it out himself that his short-temper could bring nothing but trouble to his career as a soldier, so he assumed Eren had learned to hold back his emotions. And yet... well, progress is still progress.</p>
<p>But Eren defying Mikasa like that was a rare occurrence. Probably because she was, what Armin assumed, the place to go back home for Eren just like Eren was the place to go back home for Mikasa. He'd never seen Eren used all of his strength whenever Mikasa grab a hold of him.</p>
<p>Armin shook his head, clearing his mind. His world wasn't centered around Eren and Mikasa, or so he told himself. Why did he have to be so observant when it came to them... that's right. They were his only friends and he had the habit to overthink to the point he didn't know what to think of anymore.</p>
<p>Armin felt ridiculous. He had to stop before he start to speculate things.</p>
<p>Still processing and feeling the way Eren forced her hand to let go, Mikasa picked up her spoon, in the end deciding not to follow him. She wondered what Eren was thinking right now. There was no way Eren wanted to go to the bathroom that bad.</p>
<p>It was the face he made when he stare at Krista bothered her. He hadn't made that face since that day when they were forced to run from Shiganshina.</p>
<p>Having enough thinking, Mikasa went to grab the bread on her plate and took a bite. She savored the taste of it while listening to Armin saying something about Eren not being himself because of a nightmare.</p>
<p>Jean quietly fumed as he noted Mikasa's subdued look. He had entered the hall after Krista, but he saw the entire scene in silence until he couldn't do so anymore.</p>
<p>"What the hell?" Jean made way for Eren, he wasn't about to let the bastard go without him giving the bastard a piece of his mind. "Oi, Eren, what's got into you?"</p>
<p>Eren passed him by as if he didn't hear him.</p>
<p>"Oi, hello! Ignoring me now, aren't you?"</p>
<p>Eyebrows twitching, Jean grabbed a hold of Eren's shoulder. But that didn't stop Eren from stubbornly walking towards the exit. In the end, Jean let him go. Unlike the bastard, he knew when it was no use to bother.</p>
<p>Armin's gaze followed Eren's form until he decided to stop. Time felt so slow when unexpected things happen, he noticed with exasperation.</p>
<p>"What was that? Tch, somehow that bastard pisses me off more than usual," Jean grumbled underneath his breath, while retrieving a glass of water for himself.</p>
<p>He took a seat across Marco who had just done with his duty of preparing today's breakfast.</p>
<p>"Yo, Marco."</p>
<p>"Morning, Jean. Here's your breakfast."</p>
<p>"Eh? Uh, you don't have to do this but thanks." As soon as he set the bowl full of soup and a plate with a bread on it on the table, Jean wondered, "Why Eren is like, yelling and acting like that this early in the morning?" Once he saw Eren and Krista exiting the dining hall together, Jean gaped. "What in the world...? Is that Krista? Why the heck is Krista following him?"</p>
<p>Marco tilted his head, thinking. Was Krista following Eren or...?</p>
<p>"Maybe Eren needs something from her for tomorrow's exercise, who knows," Marco wondered out-loud.</p>
<p>Marco himself wanted to ask Eren if something was wrong, but he refrained when he saw Eren with that intense stare. Eren was more fired-up than he had ever seen, best not to get into Eren's way.</p>
<p>"You're usually not this early." Marco changed the topic.</p>
<p>Jean let out a big yawn at the reminder of having his sleep interrupted. "Ah, yeah, about that. Because of someone's screaming this morning, I woke up too early. Tried to go back to sleep but couldn't, so here I am."</p>
<p>"Huh, really? It's just you that was awoken by the screaming?" Marco asked, genuine surprise written on his face. "Incredible. I guess the majority of us are just a bunch of dead sleepers. What would Instructor Shadis do if he knew that, I wonder. So, anyway, what happened?"</p>
<p>Jean fell silent as he was reminded that Marco couldn't possibly know about it. Looking at his breakfast, which consisted of another bread and a bowl of mysterious soup, he sighed. Damn, the Trainee Corps' food was plain as hell.</p>
<p>"Judging by the fact that that someone didn't make a commotion; nothing really happened, I guess. Must be someone having a nightmare or something," Jean assumed.</p>
<p>It wasn't uncommon for them to hear someone screaming either dramatically or hysterically in their sleep ever since they entered the Corps. A trainee had to learn a lot of skills necessary for survival, so accidents happened a lot.</p>
<p>For those with squeasy stomach, suturing a wound is more than traumatizing enough. But the hardest was death, of course. Like for example, three trainees had lost their lives from an accident with the 3D Maneuver Gear Training last month. It was nightmare inducing for a few to witness dead, cold bodies of their former comrades.</p>
<p>"Oh, okay. But who was it?"</p>
<p>Jean shrugged. "Dunno. Don't really care."</p>
<p>Hearing their conversation, Armin piped in, "Ah, Jean, sorry about that. It was Eren. He was... having a nightmare, I think."</p>
<p>Marco turned to Armin. "Whoa, it's Eren? Is he okay?"</p>
<p>Armin gave a shaky chuckle, but not providing Marco with an answer.</p>
<p>Jean whistled, his eyes half-lidded and a lazy smirk on his face. "That bastard is on edge even in his sleep? Ohh, he'd be an excellent alarm clock for the Survey Corps someday, for sure."</p>
<p>"Jean," Marco warned, eyes showing disapproval.</p>
<p>"Come on, it's a joke. Don't take it too seriously."</p>
<p>"I can't tell if you're joking or not. We're going to be in the same group for upcoming survival exercise, you know. Try not to provoke Eren with your attitude."</p>
<p>"Ugh. Yeah, yeah. Got it, <em>Taichō</em>." Jean snorted. "Seriously, I can't walk on eggshells with him. He pisses me off, sometimes."</p>
<p>"Even so, Jean. You know his... background, don't you? Surely you'd ―"</p>
<p>"What the heck, Marco? Stop. Who are you? My mom?" Jean grumbled.</p>
<p>"You know it youself, you're too tactless. You have to have a better control of yourself, otherwise it might affect your chance of entering the Military Police. It's your goal, right?" Marco still continued on despite the protest.</p>
<p>"Tch, I'm not sorry for being myself. Being honest has got nothing to do with my chance of entering the MPs," Jean hissed quietly. "Just stop it, Marco. I'm not here to listen to your speech."</p>
<p>Marco bit his lips before he gave in. "I'm sorry. Maybe I've said too much."</p>
<p>"Hmph."</p>
<p>"I know it's just who you are. But, Jean... sometimes I can't help but feel that all of the trainees in our year hoped for you to learn, you know, some tact."</p>
<p>"Uh, yeah, like I don't know that myself. Well, just so you know, I can't be a typical 'nice guy' like you, Marco. Yeah, unlike you, I can't aim for the Military Police with a goody-goody, noble, righteous reason such as 'serving the King'. Oh, what an honor! I'm going to dedicate my entire life for the King! Tch, gross. Really, I bet no one's buying your lie."</p>
<p>"W-what? I-I've told you before, it's not ―"</p>
<p>"Yeah, yeah. Just shut it and let me eat."</p>
<p>Pausing from chewing on her bread, Mikasa processed Marco's words, which had caught her attention.</p>
<p>
  <em>"... I know it's just who you are..."</em>
</p>
<p>She flinched as the ever familiar headaches came.</p>
<p>
  <em>"You deserve this! This is only natural! Never get up again!" Tears flew out from Eren's frightened yet determined eyes.</em>
</p>
<p>Mikasa shook her head, willing the headaches and the past memories to go away. Why did she have to be reminded of that day was beyond her. So she did her best to ignore the headaches and resumed eating.</p>
<hr/>
<p>Once Krista fell beside him, she was set on watching him from the corner of her eye.</p>
<p>Earlier, it was like Eren was trying to convey some intent through his eyes that Krista couldn't help but agreeing, even though she didn't know what he was trying to say.</p>
<p>So she was trying to gauge his intentions just by looking at Eren's side profile. Understandably, of course, she failed, so she chose to talk first.</p>
<p>"That was Jean, right? Did he... need something?" Krista tried to search for a topic that wouldn't involve herself. She also wanted to erase the somewhat rigid awkwardness between them. "Why did you ignore him, Eren?"</p>
<p>Something urged her not to take this too seriously, but something also told her to be cautious. After all... Eren could be someone that had some connections with her estranged family. Or maybe, Eren could be someone that man that had killed her mother sent to monitor 'Krista Lenz' more closely.</p>
<p>But even that man didn't know her name before she was Krista Lenz. He might know her family name, but her first name?</p>
<p>"He isn't important right now," Eren stated.</p>
<p>After a moment of floundering inwardly of why, Krista intoned quietly, "Is that so."</p>
<p>Eren remained silent, but on the inside, he wondered why he felt this uneasy being near her like this.</p>
<p>"But, um..." Krista looked to the side. Another topic. She had to find another topic. Fast.</p>
<p>Now that they had reached to the well to draw fresh water, which was just outside the dining hall entrance, she was reminded of yesterday's announcement.</p>
<p>That's right. Jean reminded her of...</p>
<p>"Wilderness March Exercise." She remembered now. "We are being grouped in the same team, so..." Krista gulped. "We have to get along." She whisked him a glance.</p>
<p>"Get along, you say?" Eren wrinkled his nose, finding her ridiculous. "Why? The Military isn't a place where we had to be nice to each other."</p>
<p>"Um, e-eh? Uh, yeah. You're right. Sorry."</p>
<p>Glancing at her from the corner of his vision, Eren almost gaped at what he saw.</p>
<p>Her lips were tugged like she was smiling nervously at him, however, it just... didn't look right. It looked so forced and so fake that it made him want to bolt away and just forget about dragging her, someone he only saw in passing, here because of a ridiculous daydream he had.</p>
<p>Eren put her aside from his attention for the time being as he kept repeating questions inside his head on why.</p>
<p>Krista Lenz. She was smaller than most girls in their year, some male trainees adored her openly for her looks, she was always ready to help anyone in need, she was always the first to voice her concerns about others' wellbeing.</p>
<p>Yet, for whatever reason, he wasn't convinced that it was... all real. He wasn't interested in interacting with her and instead, tried to avoid her ― unconsciously, he realized. It might be because the actions she took, the words she spoke, they all seemed unnatural to him.</p>
<p>That's right. Something about her made him feel sick in the stomach, but even he didn't know what about her that left such impression in him.</p>
<p>Was it because he just couldn't tolerate someone as kind as her?</p>
<p>Krista fiddled with her hands with bated breath, as for whatever reason, Eren kept walking on and on, not showing any signs of stopping.</p>
<p>"Your name."</p>
<p>"Yes?"</p>
<p>"Was it really Krista?"</p>
<p>Krista tried to act casual, but what Eren had said shaken her to the core. "Uhm, sorry?"</p>
<p>"Historia."</p>
<p>She stopped to take another step. It took all of her not to flinch at hearing that again.</p>
<p>"You know that name." Eren momentarily paused, green eyes looked like dark shades of grey as his eyes narrowed. "Are you... Historia?"</p>
<p>"E-ehh? What?" Krista was shaking and she couldn't stop it. "What makes you think that?" She was not an expert in telling lies, and this was evident by how much she show hesitation while doing it.</p>
<p>"Well, it's funny, really. My guts told me so."</p>
<p>"What?" Krista couldn't believe it. He must be playing with her. "Are you saying that... something tells you that my name wasn't 'Krista', but 'Historia'?"</p>
<p>"Yeah. Basically." Because of the sudden burst of inexplicable hot, white anger bubbling inside him, Eren bit out harshly than intended, "Is your name really Krista?"</p>
<p>She didn't know how he knew that name, but... she had killed Historia repeatedly in her head in order for 'Krista' to live. She should be able to answer that confidently.</p>
<p>"Yes."</p>
<p>"Right. Well, answer this. Have you heard of 'Historia' before?"</p>
<p>"No. I don't know anyone by that name." Krista firmly shook her head with her lips pursed.</p>
<p>She really hoped that this could be resolved quickly before anyone could get wind of... whatever this was. She wanted to get away from him as quickly as possible, too.</p>
<p>Eren wondered inwardly on why he couldn't find it in himself to believe her. Then it struck him.</p>
<p>"You were so sure."</p>
<p>"Uh...?"</p>
<p>"Why are you so sure that you didn't know anyone by that name?" Eren tilted his head to the side. "You're lying, aren't you?"</p>
<p>"Uh, what?" Krista faltered for a moment before piercing him with a look. "No. I'm not lying."</p>
<p>Eren scowled, studying her more. The tremble in her voice, the wide eyes, and all the signs showed that she was distressed.</p>
<p>"It seems to me that you are."</p>
<p>"I'm not lying."</p>
<p>"Then, why are you shaking like that? Why are you ―"</p>
<p>"I said I'm <em>not</em> lying, okay!"</p>
<p>Krista was ready to just be done with this. She wanted to run away. This was too much for her because he was right about her knowing that name.</p>
<p>She was out of her depth. She didn't know how to handle a situation like this. Helpless, that was the feeling that plagued her entire being right now.</p>
<p>Eren bit the inside of his cheek, holding himself back from telling her straight to her face that he was getting tired of this. She was clearly agitated, a sign that he ― or the daydream or memories ― might be right. She must be lying.</p>
<p>"You didn't say 'I think so' or had some kind of doubt about it. It's strange you were so sure that you haven't heard of the name."</p>
<p>Eren glanced at her at the corner of his eye before facing her. If he weren't paying attention, he would miss all the signs ― as he wasn't one to overwork his brain like Armin. But, he still had his moment.</p>
<p>Gritting the back of her teeth, Krista forced out, "What are you trying to say... Eren?"</p>
<p>"I know you're not being truthful. So, just get it over with and tell me the truth..."</p>
<p>The truth?</p>
<p>Krista swallowed. His intense eyes that were directed at her made her want want the world to just suddenly end and put her out of this. The pressure was too much that she greatly put an effort to not whimper.</p>
<p>"Please. Please, Eren, just believe that I've never heard of that name." Krista's breathing became ragged. "And I beg of you not... to say that name again. It's... dangerous..."</p>
<p>Eren's sour gaze softened at hearing pleading tone. It was irrational, he knew, to pressure a distressed girl like this. Yet something kept him to do this. He couldn't find it in himself to let this matter go.</p>
<p>"I can't do that." Eren squeezed his fists that were inside his pockets. "I'm sorry."</p>
<p>Krista froze as his words dawned on her.</p>
<p>"Haha, is that so?"</p>
<p>Eren kept his gaze fixed on her. Seeing her gazing down in defeat almost made him give in. But all of the sudden, she straightened.</p>
<p>"Eren, you... you're one of them, aren't you? You're here to dispose me, aren't you?" Krista chuckled, something inside her stirred. Was it Historia? Was it her survival instincts? "But please. Not now. Because... because I still have to..."</p>
<p>Her eyes flickered wildly, searching for an escape. She was about to bolt, but Eren halted her by holding on to her elbow.</p>
<p>"Don't go."</p>
<p>"Aghh, what do you want from me? Enough of this, just let me go!" Krista blurted out, finally cracked. When she realized what she had said, she jolted. "I-I'm sorry. I don't know what came into me."</p>
<p>"Nah. It's okay."</p>
<p>Eren relaxed his hold of her elbow, seeing that she wasn't about to run this time. He was feeling a little bad for doing this to her, but he couldn't stop. No, he wouldn't stop until he got the information that he wanted.</p>
<p>"I won't ask you to tell me that you were her or not. I just want a confirmation if 'Historia' was a real person or not," Eren compromised.</p>
<p>A real person or not? What did he mean by that?</p>
<p>Krista cast her gaze up at the morning sky. "A confirmation? It's the same thing. A confirmation is the same as admitting that I..." She felt powerless. "That I'm lying."</p>
<p>"Well, tell you what, the name 'Historia' could be the result of my imagination."</p>
<p>"Eh?"</p>
<p>"When I saw you enter the hall I just... well, the name literally popped into my mind." Eren scratched the back of his head, trying to explain it but didn't know how to word it right. "Sounds crazy, right? I know for sure that I don't know someone by that name, and yet, I..."</p>
<p>Krista scrunitized up at him, unsure of where this was going.</p>
<p>"You..." Eren trailed off, not knowing how to put it. "It's like I've known you before, but... I don't know you. But whenever I see your face, like right now, something bugs the hell out of me." Eren let out a big exhale. "And since I don't have any clue why, I've never tried to talk to you."</p>
<p>Eren knew himself; he wasn't the most socially outgoing guy. He rarely got along with anyone, especially girls, so he didn't approach her because he saw no reason to. Well, Annie was an exception because Reiner sort-of introduced her to him.</p>
<p>Krista gazed down at her feet, wondering why this was happening to her this soon. It had been only a year and now she might soon be disposed because of this.</p>
<p>Even after all the training she'd endured...</p>
<p>Was it all pointless in the end?</p>
<p>"It was just a feeling, but to me, when I know the name 'Historia'... all of the sudden, the name clicked. It sounds more right than 'Krista'," Eren mused aloud. "You know, the name 'Krista' just... pisses me off. It's not your name, that's what... I think. Does that make any sense at all?"</p>
<p>"Uh-huh...?"</p>
<p>This was all ridiculous. Krista tried to tug the corner of her lips to form a disarming smile, but she only succeeded in showing uncertainty from the way she didn't blink even once.</p>
<p>"So, Eren, you really think that I'm... 'Historia'?"</p>
<p>The corner of Eren's lips stretched downward, he was trying his best to repress the uneasiness of looking at that smile ― the smile that just looked wrong <em>and </em>forced to him ― but he just couldn't.</p>
<p>Even though they were definitely comrades, they were practically a stranger to each other. So, why? Why did he feel so strongly?</p>
<p>He looked upward in distaste. Maybe this was why he had never put an effort to approach her before. He was unconsciously avoiding her solely because of her unnatural demeanor that just didn't sit well with him.</p>
<p>"I don't have a proof. Maybe you know someone by that name," Eren said. The girl in the 'memory' he saw was definitely the girl that was in front of him now. The voice, the hair, the face; they all matched perfectly. "Or maybe... you were this 'Historia'. You tell me."</p>
<p>Krista could only feel her heart beating so fast at that, but her lips still slightly curved upward.</p>
<p>Once again, Eren was overwhelmed with the urge to wipe her smile off her face.</p>
<p>What was with the smile? What was she smiling about? What kind of emotion did she currently have behind that smile? Why did her smile bother him?</p>
<p>Right. Her unnatural-looking 'smile' somehow, someway, made him feel nauseous. Although, 'uncomfortable' was the way to describe it nicely, but Eren wasn't that polite nor was he compassionate enough to categorize Krista's smile as just that.</p>
<p>But this was odd. Simply odd. Since when did he feel strongly about someone like this? He just thought about what he felt about her more than twice, in a short period of time. This wasn't him at all.</p>
<p>Eren pondered on it.</p>
<p>That's right, it was since he heard Jean declaring his desire to get a place in the top ten to enter the Inner Wall ― in order to have a cozy, safe life away from the titans.</p>
<p>"You're damn stubborn and a terrible liar to boot," Eren muttered under his breath. Those were personality traits that he possessed too, so he couldn't really complain. Much.</p>
<p>Neither of them wanted to give in. And so they stood there in silence until Krista broke it.</p>
<p>"Can I go now?"</p>
<p>He wasn't expecting that.</p>
<p>"Huh, what? Hold on a sec ―" Eren quickly caught her, this time catching her by the wrist. The brief contact he made with her froze him to his place.</p>
<p>
  <em>"Zeke, is that you?!"</em>
</p>
<p>Gasping, he released her hand. Eren automatically looked down at his boots.</p>
<p>It was his father's voice. This time he saw his father staring in shock at an unkempt blond man named Zeke.</p>
<p>Zeke. The name sounded familiar, like he knew it from somewhere.</p>
<p>"Huh...?" Krista tilted her head, the image of a black haired lady smiling at her appeared in her mind after Eren held her hand. "What... was that?" She blinked a few times to make sure. "Am I imagining that?"</p>
<p>Eren's mouth was agape as his gaze focused at her with wonder.</p>
<p>"Can I touch you?" Eren blurted out suddenly.</p>
<p>"Um? You, what?" Krista's eyes automatically widened at that. "What?"</p>
<p>"I mean, can I touch your hand?"</p>
<p>"Huh...? Uh, my hand?" Krista furrowed her brows, taken aback at the swift change of topic. "Why? What for?"</p>
<p>"Err, um..." Eren scratched the back of his head, not sure of what touching her would do himself. "No idea, really. But you felt it, right? Something's happening when I touched you earlier."</p>
<p>Dubious but didn't see the need to refuse, Krista held out her hand.</p>
<p>Eren's hand slowly but surely reached out to hers.</p>
<p>And then their hands touched.</p>
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